When we are
young, we express our emotions with no inhibitions. We laugh and cry and get
angry or get embarrassed, all in the upfront. But then something happens along
the way, and we are told that hiding our feelings is better off for everyone.
So we begin to conceal our disappointments, our hurt, our rage, and slowly,
even happiness.
If I could
stop repressing myself, this is what I really want to say to you:
I am very
sad, in fact, to the point that it inhibits me from doing anything else. And
the sadness overwhelms me from behind, under, above, within, without. I am
paralyzed, I am sad beyond words and when I open my mouth I am stuck in between
a cry, a whine or a sigh. So this unnamed, unmaterialized bubble just gets
swallowed back in whole, and man, how it hurts in the chest!
I’ll miss
you, terribly, beyond words, beyond everything.
But you
will never know.
