Do check out his blog.
Unfortunately, things aren't looking as rosey in other aspects of life. But I know that it is up to me to do anything. And I hope I do mean it this time, to gain back the trust.
Recently I've also signed up for a course. Don't really know how to describe it except to say that it is about personal development. It is really quite expensive, and I'm paying for it myself (at least for the first part of it, cos that's all I can afford). Oh wells. As I grow older, I feel that I'm losing the drive I once had in JC. Now, I feel so unmotivated to do a lot of things. My ideals remain, but the energy to act upon them seems to be slowly fading. Don't really know what I want now, and what would it takes for me to work for it. Ennui is the word, perhaps.
"Mr Tong, I have been seriously thinking about some of the things that you said last saturday. Needless to say, I was disturbed, and I can only be if what you said has an element of truth (albiet not a pretty one). More so, I was disturbed that I can be so easily shakened, that my so-called 'beliefs' can be so easily challenged and there is no line of defense I can make to attest the strength of my identity. You are right that I probably knew myself better 2 years ago. At least then, no matter how naive or idealistic my beliefs can be, they were strong and I stood by it. Now, it feels as if my identity is increasinly a scaldfold - shaky, superficial and unreal. You made me realise that it is a scaldfold, and now I'm more fearful to find out if there's anything concrete behind it at all. And because of that, I want to go for the course that you mentioned. To understand myself better, to face the 'real me' better. Am I going in with the right reasons and mentality?"
He answered yes. And thats why I'm more determined to go now. I've met Cynthia to sign the forms, and generally just to meet this fabulous lady. Haha. Wells, at some point I felt like crying, especially when she was telling me what Mr Tong said about me. "He said that you were one of his students, and you spoke out, you had a lot of drive, had ideals. But somehow, after 2 years of university, you became more and more jaded. So what are you jaded about?" I didn't realize that this was what I seem. I was literally lost for words. I feel jaded, but by what, and why? Am i losing the sparkle I had??
Unfortunately, things aren't looking as rosey in other aspects of life. But I know that it is up to me to do anything. And I hope I do mean it this time, to gain back the trust.
Recently I've also signed up for a course. Don't really know how to describe it except to say that it is about personal development. It is really quite expensive, and I'm paying for it myself (at least for the first part of it, cos that's all I can afford). Oh wells. As I grow older, I feel that I'm losing the drive I once had in JC. Now, I feel so unmotivated to do a lot of things. My ideals remain, but the energy to act upon them seems to be slowly fading. Don't really know what I want now, and what would it takes for me to work for it. Ennui is the word, perhaps.
"Mr Tong, I have been seriously thinking about some of the things that you said last saturday. Needless to say, I was disturbed, and I can only be if what you said has an element of truth (albiet not a pretty one). More so, I was disturbed that I can be so easily shakened, that my so-called 'beliefs' can be so easily challenged and there is no line of defense I can make to attest the strength of my identity. You are right that I probably knew myself better 2 years ago. At least then, no matter how naive or idealistic my beliefs can be, they were strong and I stood by it. Now, it feels as if my identity is increasinly a scaldfold - shaky, superficial and unreal. You made me realise that it is a scaldfold, and now I'm more fearful to find out if there's anything concrete behind it at all. And because of that, I want to go for the course that you mentioned. To understand myself better, to face the 'real me' better. Am I going in with the right reasons and mentality?"
He answered yes. And thats why I'm more determined to go now. I've met Cynthia to sign the forms, and generally just to meet this fabulous lady. Haha. Wells, at some point I felt like crying, especially when she was telling me what Mr Tong said about me. "He said that you were one of his students, and you spoke out, you had a lot of drive, had ideals. But somehow, after 2 years of university, you became more and more jaded. So what are you jaded about?" I didn't realize that this was what I seem. I was literally lost for words. I feel jaded, but by what, and why? Am i losing the sparkle I had??
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