Getting in touch with music

Finally got in touch (pun intended) with my record company, Touch Music after almost a year of haitus. It was a good session of getting to know the professionals, other writers like myself and of course to learn from each of them. I think i haven't focused on music at all since XQRJ, and it has been a good 10 months. It is also a good time to think about what i really want out of my life. Although being employed gives me a very comfortable sense of security, i find myself choosing to be more and more in a world of my own. This is ironic because the point of being employed is to get into society, know the rules of the adult world and learn to become a useful member of the society. Then why do i feel such a strong desire to pull away? Why do i feel more and not less disengaged as i interact with people?

This session kinda helps me to reorient my interests in life, and perhaps prioritize what really matters to me. When one of the lyricists listened to my song today, he remarked that he could strongly sense my desire for freedom and spiritual trancendance. This really struck me because i never thought that others could pick out my subconcious currents through my music. Even though eventually he said that this may not be suitable for the market, i was nevertheless thrilled. Yes i still need to work out my basics and improve but i feel excited just thinking about how i am channeling my creative energies to build something truly mine, something that can be appreciated by others and moulding my style and identity in the process. And this is what makes me truly engaged and happy. I find this feeling in music, i find it in literature. I discovered today how big a world the music industry is, yet how small is the inner circle of people involved. Yet i am one of them! I really should not waste this precious opportunity. I have 2 years left. Definitely need to work harder and smarter!